Saturday, February 18, 2012

mother*wonder Monday {eight} - When it seems like you're the only one who cares

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Hello, Hello...I realize it is Saturday {smile}.
I had to take a little break in the playroom series for 
a mother*wonder post, long overdue.
The sun is shining here brightly.
My boys are into another round of sickness,
so it's a blah day with rays of light.

The Beatles, Here Comes the Sun, is playing in my head.

I am really working today on feeling like I am 
always listening to others, but not feeling like its reciprocated much.

I am not naive to think I am the world's greatest listener,
I would not be anywhere near the top of that list, probably not even the middle.

What I mean is this.  I am always hearing about friends children,
their ailments, friends ailments and problems, some truly serious,
and I listen, I try to encourage, hope, pray,
but I feel the minute I want to share, 
I am shut down.

It's hard and I am trying to figure out why I feel this way.
I am not throwing any parties here today, especially the pity kind.
I just need to find a way to not always be the listener.
To have a moment to vent and speak too.
It's frustrating.

I feel like Ethan's cancer has a statute of limitations even though a whole
new world has opened up here.  He is thank God cancer-free and doing
great {well except today he's horribly sick} , but he has lots of questions about it.
It's not something we can ignore.  We have to discuss it.
We have always been open about it.  He is too curious and too smart to not be.
We are handling it well and he is good.
He knows God's plans for him are big, far, and wide. 
It's just that it's hard because everyone thinks over and done.

Let's put that on the shelf all nicely tied up along with 
all the other things we are still working through with my little boys.
I kind of feel like I am not supposed to talk about any of it to anyone anymore.

Not so fun.

Thank God for God {grin} and for my husband.  

I realize we all have things we don't share all the time or most of the time.
Nor do I want to discuss any of this even a fraction of any time.
Just to be able to say hey this is what's happening would be nice.

Maybe to have the same courtesy given to listen?

Thankful to share here today.  Feels good to get it out.
I hope you all have a beautiful Saturday!

See you soon,
{michelle}



4 comments:

  1. Ah, girl, vent all you want! This is your little space in the world where you can do whatever you want. What E went through was life changing and will always be a part of your families story even if other people don't want to hear it. Cancer is a tough subject and people don't always know how to relate so they end up shutting down and being rude instead. I know with your gentle way you can feel listened to and cherished just like you should be. Hugs to you my friend!

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  2. I'm here to listen Michelle. : )

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  3. Michelle I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hate it when the trials in life linger and we are having to figure out step two. I'm learned that step two is the hardest and loneliest. Two quotes I like. 1. Keep calm then then scream and cry it out in your pillow. 2. "I can do hard things"
    Once again I'm sorry. I hope you vent more. It's liberating isnt it.

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  4. I'm so sorry that you are going through this. I hate it when the trials in our life linger and we are figuring out step two. Step two always seems to be the loneliest. Two quotes that i like are. 1. Stay calm then scram and cry it out in your pillow. 2. I can do hard things.
    Thanks for your venting. I love to hear about people's struggles (sad they have them) but it makes me feel not so alone in mine.

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I so appreciate your sweet thoughts and thank you for sharing. I always try to reply whether it be to your email or on one of your blog posts! Wishing you a wonder*filled day! Michelle

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